Hospitality Is a Two-Way Street: A Perspective from a Longtime Vacation Rental Owner

After more than 20 years in the vacation rental business, I've seen plenty of changes. But one thing shouldn't change: the shared responsibility between hosts and guests.

I've owned and operated vacation rentals since 2005, long before Airbnb became a household name. Over the years, I've weathered changes in the industry, shifting guest expectations, new booking platforms, evolving regulations, and plenty of challenges that come with maintaining privately owned properties. Through it all, I've believed that offering a vacation rental is about more than providing a place to sleep. It's about hospitality.

As Airbnb and other booking platforms continue to standardize the vacation rental experience, however, I worry we're losing sight of something important: Hospitality is a two-way street.

A Vacation Rental Is Not a Corporate Hotel

As independent hosts, we provide furnished, fully equipped homes where guests can settle in and enjoy their vacations. We maintain the properties, stock the kitchens, provide linens and amenities, and take care of countless details that guests may never notice. In return, we trust our guests to treat our properties with care and consideration. That's not an unreasonable expectation. It's simply part of staying in someone else's home.

Over the years, I've encountered what I privately call givers and takers. Thankfully, the overwhelming majority of my guests have been givers. They appreciate the accommodations, enjoy their stays, and leave the property in reasonable condition. Then there are the takers, guests who seem to believe that paying for accommodations absolves them of responsibility for the messes they create. Every experienced host has probably encountered a few.

My concern is that increasingly hotel-like expectations, reinforced by booking platform policies, may inadvertently encourage more guests to adopt that mindset. When the emphasis shifts entirely toward what guests should expect from hosts, we risk losing the understanding that guests also have a responsibility to care for the homes they occupy.

Cleaning Up After Yourself Is Not a Checkout Chore

There's an important distinction between expecting guests to clean a vacation rental and expecting them to clean up after themselves. Washing dishes after preparing meals, disposing of trash appropriately, and leaving a property reasonably tidy are basic courtesies. They aren't the same as scrubbing bathrooms, laundering linens, or preparing the home for the next arrival.

Not every vacation rental operates with a professional cleaning crew. Many independent hosts manage their own turnovers, sometimes in rural areas where reliable cleaning services are difficult to find. A same-day turnover can involve hours of laundry, cleaning, sanitizing, restocking, inspecting, and preparing the property. An unnecessary mess adds to that workload, often when time is already limited.

Booking platforms have legitimate reasons to discourage excessive checkout demands. Nobody wants to spend the final morning of their vacation completing a lengthy list of housekeeping chores. But in addressing those concerns, platforms should be careful not to confuse ordinary personal responsibility with unreasonable cleaning expectations. There's a considerable difference between asking guests to leave a home reasonably tidy and expecting them to prepare it for the next reservation.

Rethink the Cleaning Fee

Here's another idea worth considering: Eliminate the separate cleaning fee and incorporate that expense into your nightly rate. I've chosen this approach for my own vacation rental, and I believe it can help change how guests perceive their responsibilities.

A separately listed cleaning fee can unintentionally create the impression that guests have paid someone else to clean up after them. Of course, that's not what the fee is intended to cover. It pays for preparing the property for the next guests, including the cleaning, laundry, and countless other tasks involved in a proper turnover. But perception matters, and a separate cleaning charge may reinforce the idea that guests have purchased a housekeeping service.

By incorporating cleaning costs into the nightly rate, hosts may remove some of that confusion while presenting guests with a simpler pricing structure. This approach won't make financial sense for every property, particularly those accommodating a wide range of stay lengths, but it's worth evaluating. Regardless of how cleaning costs are collected, the distinction remains: Turnover cleaning is the host's responsibility. Cleaning up your own mess is the guest's.

Put Hospitality Back into the Conversation

Rather than relying entirely on house rules and checkout instructions, perhaps we should remind guests what makes privately owned vacation rentals special. Consider leaving a friendly, thoughtfully worded note in your property that communicates the relationship between the host and guest without sounding like another list of rules.

Welcome! We're delighted you've chosen our privately owned home for your vacation. We've furnished and equipped it with care so you can relax and enjoy your stay. In return, we simply ask that you treat the property with the same care and consideration you would your own home. Thank you for helping us keep it welcoming for everyone who visits.

There's no lengthy list of chores or threats of additional fees, just a friendly reminder that there's a real person behind the property. It's a small gesture, but it reinforces the relationship between host and guest rather than reducing everything to a transaction. Most guests already understand this, and a little encouragement may be all that's needed.

Independent Hosts Are the Heart of Vacation Rentals

One of the original appeals of vacation rentals was the opportunity to stay somewhere different from a conventional hotel. A cottage by the lake, a farmhouse in the countryside, a mountain cabin, or a family beach house offers an experience that can't always be replicated by standardized accommodations. These properties have individual character, and behind them are owners who invest their time, money, and energy into maintaining them.

Booking platforms provide valuable marketing, technology, and access to travelers, and I'm happy to pay for those services. What concerns me is the increasing influence platforms have over how independent owners operate their properties and what they can reasonably expect from guests. The platforms don't own these homes, maintain them, or manage the day-to-day responsibilities that come with operating them. Those obligations rest with the property owners.

As the industry continues to evolve, I hope we don't lose sight of what made privately owned vacation rentals appealing in the first place. Standardization may make things easier for booking platforms, but hospitality isn't necessarily something that benefits from a one-size-fits-all approach.

A Little Encouragement for Fellow Hosts

After more than two decades in this business, I've learned that most guests are good people who appreciate the opportunity to stay in a privately owned home. I don't believe we should let a handful of inconsiderate guests change the way we welcome everyone else, nor should we abandon reasonable expectations simply because the industry is moving toward a more standardized, hotel-like experience.

We can continue providing excellent hospitality while encouraging guests to take personal responsibility for how they use our properties. We can communicate our expectations with warmth and clarity, maintain our standards, and remind travelers that a vacation rental is more than just another accommodation purchased online.

Good hospitality deserves good guests, and being a good guest begins with simple consideration. After all, hospitality is a two-way street.

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About the Author

Julie Fergus, Julie Fergus American Home | Home, Garden & Living, has been a vacation rental owner and host since 2005, managing multiple properties and welcoming guests to New Hampshire's Lakes Region. With more than 30 years of experience as an interior designer, she brings a unique perspective to creating comfortable, thoughtfully appointed accommodations. Today, she owns and operates Cottage on High in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, where she continues to emphasize genuine hospitality, attention to detail, and the value of independently owned vacation rentals.